The last couple days I’ve been telling everyone who would listen about my theory that actor Adam Goldberg (who I like just fine) is just the kiss of death for any new TV show. He’s just one of those seemingly funny actors who gets a new series every year and it last about two minutes and then is canceled. The curse proved completely right today. RIP Head Cases; I’m sorry I had to turn you off because you featured a naked Richard Kind.

Other theories of mine that will quickly prove true:

- Tom Hanks would have survived through Saving Private Ryan’s final battle if you-know-who hadn’t dragged down the entire unit.

-Waking Life was gonna be a really normal, wonderful cartoon movie ala A Bug’s Life, till Adam Goldberg gave the whole cast and crew dangerous drugs to “expanded their minds” into mush.

-Citizen Kane, Annie Hall and Home Alone: All awesome, all not starring …

-If I got a baby dolphin immediately after birth, I could train it to live on land like other mammals no problem.

-Russell Crowe’s roommate wasn’t imaginary in A Beautiful Mind, he was murdered! Mmm but who could have done it? Who else was in that movie?

Somebody get to Christina Ricci quick.