-Classic newspapers — After I watched Citizen Kane last night, we were talking about how great Turner Classic Movies is and how cheap it must be to run a TV station with no talent (Robert Osborn don’t count), no writers, no commercials — nothing except the rights to old movies Ted Turner bought 20 years ago for nothing. We were also noticing how newspapers are starting to just run old “Calvin and Hobbes” and “Peanuts” stripes instead of paying for new, untested comics. So we’re going to start a weekly news magazine that just recycles old stories. It’s not gonna be fake news, just old news that we treat as though it was new. We’ll just go back and get stories from old enough stuff that the stories are now public domain. “Man Kicked By Mule,” “Stews Feared Contaminated,” “Spanish Menace on The Rise.”

-Golf Carts in Golf Video Games — Joel was playing the new Tiger Woods and I was arguing about why Mario Golf on the N64 was better. Joel doesn’t play real golf and I play once a year, but we agreed both games would be better if you got to drive a kart, because that’s the best part of real golf. If Mario Kart came together with Mario Golf potheads would be so effing happy.

-Dog Seatbelts — This is an old one, but it’s still valid. It be like a web/netting kind of thing.

-More James Bond novels — liscene that shit out! Nerds are starving for that sort of thing.* (Plus go read the Defamer thing about the plight of a Pierce Brosnan look-alike - awesome).

-got a terrible idea you need to get off your chest so you can stop bugging your friends with it? Email it to stick-figures@umich.edu and we’ll put it up next week so you can let it go.

* To his eternal shame Scott read 20 Star War novels and all the Tom Clancey books when he was younger, it was a huge waste of time.