Major thanks to Uncle Grambo for adding this little ol’ blog to his D-Troit City links. With some hard work, hopefully we’ll make the Creme de la Creme list. Otherwise we’re moving away from Detroit… Far away. By jovs.

It’s been on news stands for awhile now, but can anybody explain to me why Sir Paul is rooting for the Detroit Red Wings all of a sudden? Did the NHL pay Rolling Stone to secretly promote the return of the league? Is Jack White passing out presents stamped with D-town pride? Darren McCarthy left the team, but maybe he’s a distant misspelled cousin? I want answers David Fricke.

joelhoard: Blogging sure ain’t for suckas.
joelhoard: and are you trying to sell barber college?
joelhoard: if so, good idea!
SGSerilla: i think we should take offers
SGSerilla: then start barber college 2!!!!
joelhoard: ohhhhhhhhhyeah
SGSerilla: then sell the movie rights to Mike Epps.
joelhoard: hahaha
joelhoard: post that!

I paid $2.39 a gallon of gas today and it seemed like, hey things might be alright after all, you know that we all might make it through these rough times.

WRONG. Scientist are now predicting that Hurricane Wilma will shift course overnight by hundreds of miles and actual make landfall somewhere near the Saudi oil fields. So that’s something to look forward to.

My friend Keith at work pointed out that in all likelihood, Bush has access to a weather machine and keeps sending storms at us everytime we displease him or he thinks we might have extra money to spend on food or a new futon mattress. Keith then made the beeping noises that he thought the weather machine mostly likely sounds like when Bush touches the buttons to program disasters.

It sounded a lot like the cross dimensional key in He-Man The Movie, which of course starred Harriet Miers as Gwildor the Key Master.

Ahhhhhhh, yes i did just go there! Blogging ain’t for suckas. Seriously would anybody like to buy a slightly used Web site?

Is it funny to anybody else that as Scooter Libby and Karl Rove are more and more likely to fry, nobody for a minute ever wonders, “hmm what if this goes all the way to the top?” EVEN Reagan was in on Iran-Contra. We think so little of The President that not for a mintue do we think he might be directly responisble, it’s not even a remote possiblity Bush was in on the CIA leak. Awesome. Fuck yea America. Yea Week of Destiny.

-Classic newspapers — After I watched Citizen Kane last night, we were talking about how great Turner Classic Movies is and how cheap it must be to run a TV station with no talent (Robert Osborn don’t count), no writers, no commercials — nothing except the rights to old movies Ted Turner bought 20 years ago for nothing. We were also noticing how newspapers are starting to just run old “Calvin and Hobbes” and “Peanuts” stripes instead of paying for new, untested comics. So we’re going to start a weekly news magazine that just recycles old stories. It’s not gonna be fake news, just old news that we treat as though it was new. We’ll just go back and get stories from old enough stuff that the stories are now public domain. “Man Kicked By Mule,” “Stews Feared Contaminated,” “Spanish Menace on The Rise.”

-Golf Carts in Golf Video Games — Joel was playing the new Tiger Woods and I was arguing about why Mario Golf on the N64 was better. Joel doesn’t play real golf and I play once a year, but we agreed both games would be better if you got to drive a kart, because that’s the best part of real golf. If Mario Kart came together with Mario Golf potheads would be so effing happy.

-Dog Seatbelts — This is an old one, but it’s still valid. It be like a web/netting kind of thing.

-More James Bond novels — liscene that shit out! Nerds are starving for that sort of thing.* (Plus go read the Defamer thing about the plight of a Pierce Brosnan look-alike - awesome).

-got a terrible idea you need to get off your chest so you can stop bugging your friends with it? Email it to stick-figures@umich.edu and we’ll put it up next week so you can let it go.

* To his eternal shame Scott read 20 Star War novels and all the Tom Clancey books when he was younger, it was a huge waste of time.

Read all about it.

Maybe Tolkien was on to something. See for yourselves.

This is my week of destiny, if shit doesn’t go well then I’m really gonna be pissed. But I don’t wanna take it out on you so here’s some quick links to tide you over until after the trial of wills. Rock and roll, brothers, I’ll see you on Thursday and maybe then I’ll be a real boy.

-Never do work again. 12 oz. Mouse is gonna be so great.

-I agree with pretty much every word, except I think the guy underestimates Pierce Brosnan’s GoldenEye performance, which held up quite nicely. Can you think of a movie franchise where you really want more movies to be made, if they actually let someone halfway decent take-over? I really don’t want anymore Star Wars movies.

-On Mondays, the NYT Art section has turned into a where-are-they-now of the annoyingly overplayed. Next week the guy from Candlebox shows off actual candleboxes he’s now selling out of his van.

-THE EYEBROWS RETURN!* BILL BERRY SAT IN FOR A ONE-OFF OF GIG IN A BOWLING ALLEY! REM makes middling albums now, but they’re still so effing good live.

* After consulting with the editors of Rolling Stone, I regret to say the above post should have read Eyebrow, since Bill only really has one. Jann says he’s sorry too for being a nut.

&I think it’s become pretty clear with all the traffic we’ve seen that the people love us. I mean love us. It’s also become clear that this is the greatest blog in the brief history of blogs. If you disagree and think that your blog is better than ours, post a comment with a link to yours, then we’ll review it and tell you you’re wrong.
;br />Here’s to us, Scott.