Dear A.,

We have the Communist Koala. If you want to see him in one piece, surrender now. Otherwise, the bear gets it. We got to the bear, and we can get to you, too.

Love,

Barber College

Crips founder Stanley Tookie Williams is on the deffest row of them all: death row. And the only man who can save him is the Terminator. I for one would like to see Williams’s life spared. After all, he has been an anti-gang campaigner and the author of several children’s books. You don’t see people calling for Judy Blume’s head, do ya? Do ya? If you have the wherewithal to write a children’s book, you should be allowed to murder a person or two. Maybe we could set up a system whereby everyone who writes a children’s book is given a murder card, to be returned to the state after the murder is committed. Write a book, get a card. Write two books, get two cards. It’s as simple as that. The way I see it, every children’s book saves at least two lives. Impressionable children read the books, see the magic of the written word, and go on to lead lives of good. And then they don’t murder people. So shouldn’t we give the authors a little kickback? It only makes sense.

SGSerilla: what did you do?
queenaubs: ?
queenaubs: i’m sorry, you must have me confused with someone else
SGSerilla: he’s all wound up now
SGSerilla: just when i had him ready for bed
queenaubs: i didn’t do it
queenaubs: it was the dog
SGSerilla: well it can’t be helped now
SGSerilla: you just give up and lose and i’ll get his pjs back on
queenaubs: there will be no losing done by me
SGSerilla: come ooooonnnnnnnn
queenaubs: i’m sorry
queenaubs: but i have principles
SGSerilla: wait
queenaubs: ?
SGSerilla: don’t you go to a bussiness school
queenaubs: no
SGSerilla: principles my ass
queenaubs: i work in one
SGSerilla: …
queenaubs: hey, ad-face mcgee, you don’t have much room to talk
SGSerilla: we make ads for orphans and orphan-owned companies
SGSerilla: only
queenaubs: i hope that ellipsis means you are examining your conscience
queenaubs: we only sell stocks to fetuses
queenaubs: they come with great abortion-insurance
SGSerilla: big deal
SGSerilla: at least they have parents to abort them
queenaubs: (!)
queenaubs: zing
queenaubs: i can’t believe you topped abortion insurance

joelhoard: how do you feel about losing the blog feud?
queenaubs: i wouldn’t know
queenaubs: i won it, remember?
joelhoard: i don’t think so!
joelhoard: that’s it - we’re feuding again
queenaubs: what??
joelhoard: you heard me
joelhoard: round two
——

Back by popular demand… THE BLOG FEUD!

-Colbert on Fresh-Air. I’m hooked on the Report. I eat dinner watching the rerun every night. (7 o’clock rerun only good thing about CC, maybe the Comedians of Comedy specials) It’s really good, they need a few more standard bits to pad it out. They talk about Colbert’s interview with Congresswoman Cheeks Kilpatrick, my old representative, when they sang that song from the Billy Dee Williams movie.
- I’m willing to go on record saying Stern on Sirus is gonna flop. No knock on Howard, I just don’t think people will pay for what they’ve gotten for free for years. There will be a big rush of a few million people and it will peter out after that. My brother Paul disagrees. If he still had a blog we’d have to Feud.

Ricky Gervais’ podcast made my day. I had to knaw off my fingers to keep from laughing out loud.

www.rickygervais.com

Cheers

I bought John Hodgman’s book “The Areas Of My Expertise,” which has been making cold morning bus rides a little bit warmer. Enjoy Hodgeman reading his list of 700 Hobo names (http://www.areasofmyexpertise.com/hoboes.html) and have a good weekend.

It takes about an hour for him to get through them all.

Also you can compare them with this list of famour pirates I found while researching boat names today (http://www.sevenoceans.com/Pirates/PiratesbyName.htm).