-First we can surmise there is probably not a God, or at the very least, he hates us.
-Jerr is on a first name-basis with everyone. If you’re super famous, he even knows your top-secret nickname (Eminem is called “Em” by people in the know. 50 Cent is often called “50″ by his buddies. Billy Joel on the other hand is Joel. It’s a complicated dance).
- If you play Alan Jackson next to 50 Cent you suddenly understand “Con Air†on an entirely higher plane. Nic Cage’s performance/haircut in the film will make all sorts of sense. The mulleted gangster is a folk hero your grandkids will sing about.
- Usher’s “Yeah†is “fun” because of its “rhythms and melodies.” It might be “the number party song of all time!”
-Jerry doesn’t mean to “throw out stats,” but “believe it or not “Lose Yourself†was Em’s first #1 hit and it was featured in an urban movie (8 Mile).” If you need inspiration and don’t get it from this song, Mr. “Gory Road” suggests you “pack it in.”
- Assuming that Jerry wrote this himself, instead of his assistant (more likely he got Lawrence Kasdan to do punch up), Bruckheimer doesn’t have shitty taste: He has no taste, absolutely none and that genuine lack of real opinion has given the man the key to millions. He is complete hollow. “Does it get any better than the lyrics to “Desperado?†That’s amazingly and completely anti-profound breed of middling gibbering that speaks volumes.
- A world where everything is “emotional” and “interesting” would be apparently unbearable.
-Pink Floyd were a unique band. They changed how music was presented and the way people perceived it. “Top Gun” was unique movie. It changed how film was presented and the way people perceived it. Jell-O/Hitler is a unique dessert/fascist dictator.
- Jerry sees Art and the World At Large at the exact same level as an especially shallow 12 year-old little girl. This is the key to understanding his entire body of work.
- Despite having never been to a real club (although his movies often feature them at emotional poignant moments), The Bruck knows what goes into a good club song: “a great beat and great energy.†Thanks DJ Sammy.
-I don’t think he’s telling us he likes Sting’s “Desert Rose†because he cynical knows that it was a high charting hit and his focus groups told him to put such a popular song on there. I think in Bruckheimer’s head that’s a good song, and it plays over and over on a loop every second of the day at ear-bleeding levels. If he thought he could get away with it, he go back and insert in “Bad Boys II.†No wait … when he watches “Bad Boys II†that song is in there. His brain forces his ears at gun-point to believe it is playing. “Good song choice, Jerry,” he says to himself as he munches his popcorn.
- If you are capable of concurrently believing Rob Thomas’ solo album is really “Matchbox 20 meets Sam Cooke†and not think that’s a horrible, holocaust-y idea, then you likely created the “CSIâ€-franchise.
