Behold the mighty power of the Hassel.
Too Smart is also up again bashing the hell out of 2005.
**UPDATE** The Hassel “is not hooked on a feeling, not high on believing that you’re in love with him†as earlier reported. In fact, he wants a divorce.
Well, obvs you expect the Hassel to be with one woman for more than 16 years. She needs to share him with all of us. Some of us. Me.
Oh David, please won’t you watch my bay and ride my knight?
Comment by J-Ho
January 12, 2006 @ 5:38 pm
Great, now I have the image of David Hasselhoff’s package burned into the inside of my eyelids. You gotta warn me when you’re gonna do stuff like that.
Comment by Sophie T. Mishap
January 13, 2006 @ 8:05 am
This is a commentary on reincarnation, isn’t it?
Comment by Scott
January 13, 2006 @ 9:51 am
Beg your pardon, Ms. Tourette, rather this is about salvation. David is your savior and he really does want you to be happy, but first he has to snowboard down a mountain on a tobaggan with fish in his mouth. Eternally zooming in on his crouch just represents how he can bring you everlasting life and loves you forever. No seriously, forget Sting, the guy can go for days. I have video.
Comment by Sophie T. Mishap
January 13, 2006 @ 11:16 am
Wait, so this is a parable on worshipping false phallic idols?
If you had told me it’s actually a PSA about waiting 30 minutes to go back into the Speedo pool after you’ve binged on some particularly sweet Hasselhoff eyecandy, I might have believed you.
As things stand, I’m doubtful.
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