Memorandum from Julia Davidson, Van Hammersley Public Relations:

In the interest of full disclosure, Messrs. Serilla and Hoard would like to issue the following corrections to their memoir Fly in the Barbicide (Random House):

- Messrs. Hoard and Serilla did not, in fact, spend 1971 - 1974 in a POW camp in North Vietnam. The prison camp was actually located in Cambodia.

- Mr. Hoard’s addiction to prescription painkillers happened in the wake of an emergency vasectomy, not after a controversial baboon-human heart swap.

- Mr. Serilla cannot beat Contra without the code.

- Jesus does want Mr. Serilla for a sunbeam, but not Mr. Hoard.

- Mr. Hoard did not beat Ron Artest in a game of HORSE. It was actually a game of FUCKYOU,MOTHERFUCKER. The comma did not count as a letter.

- Messrs. Serilla and Hoard did not escape from exile on the island of Elba to become emperors of France only to be exiled again, this time to the island of St. Helena, where they did not die in 1821.

- Messrs. Serilla and Hoard did not vacation at Martha’s Vineyard with Curly from the Harlem Globetrotters, but they did go through his garbage one time.

- Mr. Serilla was never an enforcer for an underlord in the Yakuza.

- Mr. Hoard never ghostwrote songs for Dire Straits’ Brothers in Arms LP, but he was a production assistant for the “Money for Nothing” video.

- Messrs. Serilla and Hoard did not publish a memoir.