Good morning, Starshine…
Dear B.C. Reader,
It’s around 6 a.m. here at the Outpost. I’ve been up all night pondering life, etc., and I’ve realized that I really need to quit smoking. It’s gone on for much too long, and I need your help. You see, this will be my fifth attempt at giving up the beloved habit that has been with me for the better part of four years. My previous attempts have failed miserably. Why? Because I didn’t seek the support of my friends, family, and my loyal Internet fans (hi, guys!) who all care deeply for me. So please, offer up a prayer or maybe sacrifice your first-born, or just give me a pack of gum if you see me around, and for Chrissakes Adam, stop letting me smoke in your apartment. Together, we can get through this ordeal.
Sincerely yours,
J-Ho