Oops…
Steph,
We decided that your dog was probably a double agent. We could not trust him with our confidential strategic information. As such, we had to shoot him. Many, many times. In the face. With an automatic rifle.
Love,
Barber College
25 Comments »
246
Comment by Sophie T. Mishap
April 25, 2006 @ 6:00 pm
Doctored photos just don’t do it for me. Sorry. You’re just going to have to try harder.
Comment by J-Ho
April 25, 2006 @ 6:52 pm
You lie, you cheat, and now you’re accusing us of doctoring photos. Are there any depths to which you won’t sink?
P.S. - We’ve scraped most of Maxwell’s brain and skull off the lawn, and we’ll mail his remains to you shortly.
Comment by Anonymous
April 25, 2006 @ 11:02 pm
Now you bois ought to know better yukking it up in yer double-wide with that case discount year-old beer and the greasy bucket of KFC.
Ya puts cats in glasses and ya shots perfectly good dogs. Just whut kinda sicko fooks are you?
You greasy-fingered beer-burping excuses for ass rashes are just askin’ for it.
Comment by Scott
April 25, 2006 @ 11:32 pm
Sir or Madam,
Whatever your misinformed impression of me and J-ho might be, it is so much cooler than reality. Dito for your spelling.
What kind of lame fooks are we, indeed? Today was the first time in three days I actually didn’t throw back any discount beer. I’ll rank them for you:
1. High Life (Sunday)
2. Old Style (Monday)
3. PBR (Saturday)
Comment by J-Ho
April 26, 2006 @ 1:02 am
The cat in the glass is a metaphor. Quit looking at everything so literally!
The dog getting shot is not a metaphor. Look at that literally.
Comment by Anonymous
April 26, 2006 @ 1:19 am
Snott,
Your taste in beer sucks almost as much as your ability to conduct a half-assed blog war.
In the previous post, I spelled it all out for you in a language you are your fartknocker pal are most comfortable with.
Face it Snott and Jo-ho-ho, your asses are COMPLETELY and UTTERLY owned by Ms. Sophie. Her blog-war kung-fu is far superior to your teen-age weak beer farts.
Now I’d like to point out to you two dufus’ one other unfortunate-for-you side effect of your coming decimation at the hands of Ms. Sophie:
Unless you alter course soon and admit defeat, you will end up with a gift from Ms. Sophie that keeps on giving:
When you two beer-guzzlin’ demoralized clowns eventually find a couple of bar-skanks with lower standards than your own and you figure out how to pollute the gene pool (only after reading a pictoral chart), you’ll have one more surprise. Your poor trailer-trash kids will have inherited a massive inferiority complex and never want to leave the trailer once they can walk for fear of the shunning they will receive from all. That’s right boys. Now pay attention: this will all be due to your complete and utter defeat at the hands of Ms. Sophie all those many years ago.
So give it up now choads. Concede defeat to the superior powers of Ms. Sophie. Think of your progeny. Do it for them.
You too J-Ho-Ho! You both smell like ass. Must be some cologne you two humps got for free at the bar when you were buying that skunky beer.
And J-Ho-Ho, don’t be lecturing me about metaphors. You might want to take another swig of that skunky beer and ponder the limp imagery in your hands.
So if y’all want to avoid further embarrassment, you might want to post your notice of capitulation on Ms. Sophie’s blog soon.
And btw, Snotty, the word is spelled ‘ditto’, Mr. Smells Like Ass.
‘Later dudes.
Comment by Sophie T. Mishap
April 26, 2006 @ 8:23 am
Ha ha ha!!
DISCLAIMER:
Sophie T. Mishap is not responsible for anything any of her random obsessed fans do when they come over here to tell you what’s what.
Comment by VeeV
April 26, 2006 @ 10:08 am
Steph wins.
Never was a battle so one sided since Waterloo.
Little punks should’ve known not to bring knives to a gun-fight.
Now you ad execs etter get back to trying to upsell your clients into bold colored text because when “people go looking for an exterminator… your listing will stand out!”
Comment by pdxbiker
April 26, 2006 @ 10:50 am
Its already been mentioned that both of you have lost the feud. Due to an utter lack of creativity. When Sophie wrote about you scrubbing your floor with cats, it wasn’t about harming your cats; but the complete uselessness of using cat hair to do the task - unless your house is THAT DIRTY. You do use kitty litter? Don’t you????
Lack of creativity - its ok to bring pets into the feud; but, only once and Sophie already did that - so choosing her dog was a fatal mistake.
Comment by Scott
April 26, 2006 @ 12:56 pm
If you can scrub a floor with a cat and not hurt it, then you are a better man than me Mr. Biker.
They always cry when I ring them out.
Comment by J-Ho
April 26, 2006 @ 1:05 pm
I guess it’s a good thing for us that these fools don’t get to decide when this thing is over. Whatever.
I suggest you refrain from leaving silly comments here in the future, lest you want your own feud.
Comment by Anonymous
April 26, 2006 @ 1:27 pm
Snott: What are you anyways? Spelling impaired? The word you wanted was ‘wring’ as in, ‘wring them’. It’s sad that you reveal your shortcomings so easily and repeatedly. Isn’t that right Mr. ‘Dito’-head?
J-Ho-Ho: Bring it. I can take ye.
Jebus boys, you both smell like ass.
Perhaps you two floating turds should try drinking that ass cologne and lather on a couple of bottles of the skunky beer instead? Who knows - it might be an improvement.
Have a nice day, you lesser-thans.
Comment by Scott
April 26, 2006 @ 1:32 pm
Yeah, let’s make a couple things clear:
1. Check Webster — A feud is “a mutual enmity or quarrel that is often prolonged or inveterate; especially : a lasting state of hostilities between families or clans marked by violent attacks for revenge.” This this is only day three. Settle.
2. Say what you want about us, but leave cheap beer out of it, creepy middle-aged web stalkers. Joel and I threw back our share expensive micro-brews at Ashley’s while in Tree Town, but sort of the Beast, IceHouse and Bud Light, cheaper beer will always be best. Amber Bock’s on me next time your in Chicago, Anoynmous.
3. I haven’t been called a “fartknocker’ and a “choad” in the same breathe since fourth grade. Thanks for the flashback. Let me know when your 1993 World Book American Slang Annual final gets there.
4. Like Shaw, my horrific, ghastly spelling is a point of unbelievable pride.
5. Joel really shot Steph’s dog.
6. The Pistons are awesome, the Wings are coming back, BC is still winning this media-baiting fake conflict.
7. Sniff, we finally have a backblog. i’m so proud.
Comment by Anonymous
April 26, 2006 @ 1:56 pm
Snott and J-Ho-Ho: After much consideration I have determined that the two of you are vastly superior to me and Stephanie… at everything.
And you don’t smell like ass. You smell like a field of sun-kissed lilacs swaying in a gentle afternoon breeze.
Please accept my apologies and forgive me my hatred and crass language.
Comment by J-Ho
April 26, 2006 @ 3:19 pm
Thanks for coming around to our side, buddy. You are forgiven.
Comment by Sophie T. Mishap
April 26, 2006 @ 3:27 pm
I love you guys! Let’s stay feuding FOREVER!
Comment by Anonymous
April 26, 2006 @ 3:33 pm
Dear Flatulence Kings,
You guys are the lamest of the lame.
You take Ms. Sophie to task for engaging in a little creative Photoshopping while your skills at the same are obviously minimal and liquor-impaired.
And then you have the utter gall to try and snow the readers of your blog by posting some self-congratulatory crap and faking it out as me. Now that is so amateurish J-Ho-Ho, that even your grandma feels the shame all the way up the withered family tree.
Look here weaker-thans, just give in and tell Sophie you surrender and will submit to whatever punishment she deems fit. You know this is pre-ordained. You know you can’t win against Ms. Sophie. So put down that skunky beer and give up now before you’ve lost what’s left of your self-respect.
Ms. Sophie rules forever
Comment by Anonymous
April 26, 2006 @ 3:36 pm
Wait you’re not the real Anonymous! I am! Faker, faker! I’m twice the cowardly web stalker you are!
Comment by Anonymous
April 26, 2006 @ 3:38 pm
well that’s your right, snooty. you virile hunk of blogging cheesecake!
Comment by Anonymous
April 26, 2006 @ 3:44 pm
Damn it that’s it … {pulls off mask} it was me, Capt. Peterson from the Marina! I’ve been Anonymous this whole time and I would have gotten away with it to if it wasn’t for you blasted melding barber twins!
Comment by Anonymous
April 26, 2006 @ 3:46 pm
You two happy meals are just upset that Ms. Sophie has adoring fans, while you dillweeds, have … well, potatoes growing in your ears.
So put the beer down and learn how to graciously accept the position in life you were destined for.
Repent now ye sinners.
Comment by bhd
April 26, 2006 @ 5:06 pm
Time to invade. No wait. Why bother with that? We’ll just nuke ya till ya glow.
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