All apologies
A few days ago, we shot what we thought was Stephanie T. Mishap’s dog, Maxwell Smart, in the face with an automatic weapon. Turns out we made a little mistake, and boy are our faces red! Nevertheless, since we’re men of integrity, we’re willing to admit our mistake and do whatever it takes to rectify the situation. You see, the dog we killed wasn’t Stephanie’s at all! It actually belonged to her kindly old neighbor, Irma Amberton. We’ve already sent her our apologies and condolences, and we’re paying for the funeral costs in their entirety. On top of that, we’ve given her these little fellas:

Not only is she getting seven dogs to replace the one we shot, but these puppies are also 100 times cuter than her old dog, which results in an increase of 700 cuteness points! Plus we’re letting her keep the little red wagon. That’s how Barber College operates. When we make a mistake, we don’t just admit it; we also pay for it 700 times over… and we throw in a free wagon.
