What I Learned This Weekend: Part One
1. I learned, because Vh1 was showing “Back to the Future,” possibly to celebrate American/Libyan relations being normalized this week, that at the age of five I was a fucking moron. I thought cocaine-powered time machines, VW-driving terrorists and Marty inventing rock ‘n’ roll with lip-syncing & finger-tap guitar solos were all so awesome. I stand corrected.
2. I learned hipster craft shows are only slighty less sad that their red state counterparts.
3. I learned the Pistons are trying to give me a mutherfucking heart attack.
4. I learned where to get an Avocado Milkshake when in Chinatown.
5. I learned to always double-check to see if the jeans are on sale, cause sometimes they are trying to trick you.
6. I learned that if you claim you won a blog feud and then stop posting for two weeks, you in fact lost said blog feud.