I always say I’m from just north of Detroit or just outside Detroit. Yes that means Grosse Pointe.
Detroit is the wild Uncle you were scared of when you were really young, thought was awesome when you a teen cause he might buy you beer and when you’re older you kinda just end up pitying cause he’s lonely and sad, but you won’t let anybody say anything bad about him cause he’s your Uncle and you love him.
The middle third isn’t that funny, but the other parts almost make me want to take up golf. Or at least hang out with Bobby Knight.
Why doesn’t the kid wear a shirt? WHY don’t they say why he doesn’t wear a shirt?
Better than The Jack-Impresionator, not as cool as the Brow (RIP), the super detroit fan of super detroit fans.
Magician and all-around punk-ass bitch David Blaine failed to set the record for holding one’s breath underwater Monday night. Dude gave up after 7 minutes, 8 seconds, well short of the record of 8 minutes, 58 seconds. I didn’t watch the ABC special, but I’m sure it was captivating watching a guy float in a jar for two hours and then try to hold his breath for 9 minutes. Anyway, congratulations on your spectacular failure, David! I hope you and your prune penis recover nicely.
What happened to the baby-faced kid who did awesome card tricks and street-level illusions? He was so much cooler than the guy who gets buried alive for a week, stands on a pillar for a couple days, freezes himself in a block of ice, and starves himself in a plastic box over the Thames for 44 days. Europe hates you already, and we’re not far behind.
David, you better make something disappear or learn how to fly (not that fake levitation shit, but actual flight) by flapping your arms or something, because we’re all getting sick of watching you dick around and starve yourself in various containers. I know it takes discipline and intestinal fortitude, but so does competitive eating, and I don’t wanna watch that, either. So get your shit together, lest we have to get someone to punch you in the stomach, if you know what I mean.
This is called viral marketing. It wants to be your friend and shave your body. You might wanna go ahead and let it.
“They gave that bleep to him again?!?” Rasheed Wallace asked. “That’s felonious! Felonious! He wasn’t even in my top three!”.
-’Sheed on his brother Ben Wallace winning Defensive Player of the Year for the fourth time in the last five years.
It is with great pleasure today that we announce that the still undefeated Barber College has been declared winner of the Barber College - Memoirs of Sophie T. Mishap Blog Feud of 2006. After putting up with Ms. Mishap’s numerous lies and several instances of fraud, Barber College called upon its legal team, pictured above, to enforce the contract signed by the members of Barber College and Ms. Mishap prior to the commencement of the feud. Faced with overwhelming evidence of Ms. Mishap’s misdeeds, the United States Supreme Court ruled unanimously that Barber College should be declared the victors. The following portions of the BC-Mishap contract were violated on multiple occasions by Ms. Mishap:
con·tract n. An agreement between two or more parties, especially one that is written and enforceable by law.
Thank you all for your support throughout this ordeal, and we hope that with your help we can return to business as usual.
A victory party is planned for Saturday, May 13, 2006, on the roof of Barber College Headquarters in downtown Detroit, Mich. Free PBR, hot dogs, and Doritos will be provided. No creepy stalkers allowed.
