Questions for Scott, who’s incredibly busy right now. I hope he’ll find time to answer them as an Xmas gift to me though.

Some have said this is the greatest blog ever. I’m inclined to agree. What makes us so great?
A general indifference to the laws of thermodynamics.

If you could realize your lifelong dream of becoming a professional baseball player, but you had to play right field for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, would you still do it?
I wanted to work for the CIA so I’ll pretend you asked if I would still be a spy for the tiny nation of Luxemburg — Yes, yes I would.

Same question, but replace “professional baseball player” with “rock-n-roll superstar” and “right field for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays” with “bass for the eighth incarnation of Journey.”
Sure and I hate Journey. Livin’ the dream at a lower level doesn’t have to be bad as long as you don’t lie to yourself and think it’s the top. Why should I stop believing just cause I have to play “Don’t Stop Believing” every night.

BTW, according to Wikipedia, the current bass player Journey is the original bass player. DO YOUR HOMEWORK NEXT TIME SMART ASS!

I think every Christmas song save for “O Holy Night,” which is fucking beautiful, should be banned. Are there any you would save?
I love lots of Xmas music; the aforementioned “Fairy Tale of New York,” everything on the James Brown Xmas cassette my dad played all through my childhood. I say crank the Bing Crosby and don’t worry so much.

We haven’t had a blog feud in quite some time. Any targets you have in mind?
Fuck those losers at AskJeeves.

Come up with a question for this answer: Ya know Scott, just when I thought you couldn’t sink any lower, you went and asked me about that night. I thought what happens in Omaha stays in Omaha. Isn’t that how the saying goes?
Hey Joel could you answer this question with mock indignation and throw in a reference to the insurance capital of the Midwest?

I just got back from LA. It was fucking cold there. Warmer in The D than in LA. How fucked up is that shit?
Totally it was like when “MASK” became all about car racing in the third or fourth season and I was all like, “why must everything I love gradually turn into shit.” Disappointing no matter what climate you live in.

If Jesus’s birthday is called Christmas, why can’t my birthday be called J-Homas?
It would be too easily confused with J-Holmas, which is of course the longest day of the year. OOOOOO! THAT TOOK ME A WEEK TO COME UP WITH!