Disclaimer: If you’ve ever read this blog or talked to me for more than five seconds, you probably know that nothing is sacred to me, so this might be pretty goddamn offensive to some of you.

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So I was out all night with my friend Eric yesterday, and I ended up crashing at his place in East Hills, just outside of Grand Rapids. We got up around noon and went to Wolfgang’s, a diner on Lake Drive in Eastown. Around 12:30 people were lining up along Lake, and we realized the the dead prez was gonna be rolling through soon! Roads were closed, city and military police were out in force. So we did what anyone in our situation would do: We watched the procession and made snide comments.

Some things that actually came out of my mouth during the procession:

“This is the worst parade I’ve ever seen.”

“Why did he have to die in the winter? It’s fucking cold.”

“Why did he have to die the day after James Brown and totally steal JB’s thunder? James Brown did so much more for this country. He invented three of the greatest genres ever.”

“This is probably the only time a president can ride in a parade without having to worry about snipers.” (Re: People sitting on a rooftop across the street)

“Betty Ford looks like shit.”

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Here are some pictures. You can blame the quality on Eric, because I was busy manning the vid.

Yep. All these people lined up to watch a hearse pass.

“Welcome home!!! Sorry you’re… dead.”

What did this poor MP do to deserve Gerald Ford funeral procession duty in Grand Rapids, Mich.?

Eric captured only the back of the hearse it would appear. I guess that’s the important half.