Sup, hobos? Sorry for having been at out at sea for so long. What savage forces have conspired to keep your beloved Barbers from making astronaut-diaper jokes?

Perhaps this handy pie chart will explain what we’ve been doing instead of blogging:
Oh ho ho, that took three hours to make! Shit that would have been a hilarious fifth piece of the pie — 15% pie-chart designing. Damn, how does the Onion do it every week???

Annnnnyways shake yourself out of your post-Paczki Day jelly-filling comas and lend me your ears; I’ve got science to drop.

We’re planning to relaunch the site, but R&D delays have kept its mighty visual splendor and slowcrafted laughableness from you. It’s debatable what will happen at this point. We might adopt a cute orphan child and force him/her to post, we might try psychically posting directly into your minds. It could happen, till then sit tight.