Hey everyone! I’m still working on your surprise, but you’ll have to hang tight and deal with this for now.

Our beloved president, the esteemed George W. Bush, is delivering some important speech on Iraq policy Friday afternoon, and it just so happens that he’ll be delivering said speech about three blocks from my house at East Grand Rapids High School. You probably know it, even if you don’t know it. The high school in the first American Pie movie is actually EGR High School. The cat who wrote the films grew up right around the corner. (If you want to see other landmarks from the series, visit me in the next month and I can show you around.) Now, I’d love to be there to hold up some snarky sign or to piss on the prez’s leg, but I have to work my usual 8-4.

I guess what I’m getting at is this: Can anyone go in my stead? This is too great an opportunity to pass up. I would totally take the day off, but I have this important-ass shit that’s actually bringing me in to work Saturday, as well, otherwise I’d be there. Please, please: someone go in my place. This could be our last chance.