I’m not sure we should let this person continue to give language warriors a bad name without a bit of a fight.

Oh, Grammar Vandal. This is difficult for me to say. I know you think you are doing God’s work, but I think you’d be a happier person if you left the sanctimonious, prescriptivist fervor to the religious right and got a job as an editor, which job would allow you to use your powers for good.

In other words: Settle down, grasshopper. You have much to learn. Relax, have an iced tea, and consider these important facts:

1) Botched “sentences” are entertaining. RUN EASY BOSTON? That’s hilarious! Why are you trying to deprive me of that sign?

2) Some rules of grammar are stupid. Tell me, do you honestly give half a shit whether I split an infinitive with an adverb? If you answered, “Yes,” you revealed your allegiance to a pointless, archaic rule artificially imposed on English by Latin-worshipping dead guys who thought it would make them sound smarter. They’re dead now. Do you see where I’m going with this?

3) By harping on strict adherence to the rules, you hurt the cause. It’s nice when people use apostrophes well and funny when they don’t, but honey, we’ve got bigger fish to fry.

4) Nobody likes a smartass.