You know what’s awesome about Gmail, aside from everything? The spam filter. It hardly ever misses. Since my old college e-mail addresses, which are on a few dozen mailing lists, still forward to my Gmail address, I get about 100 spam e-mails a day. They get filtered and dumped, so I hardly ever read them. But for a change I thought I’d read some of them today. Naturally about 3/4 of them are ads(?) for penis enlargement drugs, but that’s not the funny part. The funny part is that the text in the bodies of the e-mails has become so nonsensical that it makes ya wonder who’s getting paid to send spam anymore. Honestly, I don’t think anyone is. I think spam software has become self-aware, kind of like Skynet in Terminator or the Matrix in The Matrix. The messages generate and send themselves, which is how we end up with stuff like this:

“Boytoys always giggled at me and even gars did in the civil WC!
Well, now I smil at them, because I took Mega. Dik
for 7 months and now my pecker is indeed greater than usual.
take http://stolltd.com/
————————–
Cup at the Queen’s Park Oval, Port of Spain, Trinidad
Stamford Bridge, where Chelsea had to come from 3-1 down
Middlesbrough again as he blocked a cross net pass from
inside wheat gluten which is used in pet foods as a
People’s Bank of China Governor Zhou Xiaochuan starts”

I don’t watch soccer regularly, which is probably why I never knew that wheat gluten was involved.

“Princesses always whizgiggled at me and even gentlemans did in the open toilet!
Well, now I giggl at them, because I took Mega. Dik
for 6 months and now my member is much best than national.
win http://stoneic.com/
————————–
We didn’t receive press releases or scripts in advance
has boarded a bus containing 32 children and 2 teachers
somehow. Authorities have not said there was a shooting.
people die in a gun battle.
took the right decision Tony Blair, UK Prime”

Can you hear the random word generators churning this shit out in the nether areas of Cyberspace? Listen carefully. It sounds like tiny horses marching down a street paved in Frosted Flakes.

Just to prove my point even further, look at this one from a gal named Shauna H. Roper:

“All girls always laughed at me and even guys did in the public toilets!
Well, now I laugh at them, because I took MegaDik
For 5 months and now my dick is much bigger than “average” size.”

Sorry everyone laughed at you because of your tiny penis, Shauna, but it sounds like you found peace of mind in the end. Isn’t that what life’s all about?