It ain’t easy being OT-VII.

I dusted off this old thing today and gave it a fresh coat of paint. That’s all.

…I think I’m gonna go pee on the White House lawn tonight.

I’m all for freedom of religion, but this is just too funny.

(Thanks to IT Master Gordo for the link.)

Hard times for beauty queens women who compete in worthwhile contests of skill and intellect.

But when life gives someone else lemons, I steal and sell them on the black market. I’m already hard at work on my screenplay, “Mis(s)count: What REALLY Happened to Miss California.” I don’t want to give anything away, but at least two psychotic middle-aged pageant moms and a chihuahua die in a knife fight before the end of the second act. Watch for it this spring on Lifetime.

Here’s a transcript of a text message conversation I had with C-Ho last night. It started innocently, but things heated up pretty quickly:

C-Ho: Cars-for-xmas commercials and jewelry-for-xmas comercials should be banned.

J-Ho: Yeah. There should be a moratorium on selling anything over $1000 between Thanksgiving and New Year’s.

C-Ho: How uncreative, and how much of an asshole, do you have to be to buy your wife a Lexus for xmas?

J-Ho: Bitches. Love. Lexuses.

C-Ho: I gotcho back like chiroprac… tic.

J-Ho: Stuck on you like a dog got a black tick?

C-Ho: Correct. Keep your heart three stacks!

J-Ho: So much cash banks be runnin’ outta sacks?

C-Ho: Enough sacks to sell that crack from the back of my ‘Lac.

J-Ho: Car so hot I got rims on my rims. Bitches so fly been wit’ like fit-ty Kims.

C-Ho: If you fat I might take one for the team. But I gotta be drunk first, you know what I mean?

J-Ho: Posse roll 30 deep. Too much chedda to reap. Even got a lil midget to carry my grillz. Anotha wit’ a pad to tally my killz.

C-Ho: You win. You’re an awesome battle texter.

J-Ho: You give up, I jus’ keep on goin’. Like dem oompa-loompas don’t show no signs of slowin’.

C-Ho: Do you have Ghostface in the room? I’m impressed.

J-Ho: Ghostface use my cast-offs the last 10 years. My real shit so good would blow ya ears.