From ESPN.com’s Chris Sheridan, we bring you the early leader for Worst Metaphor of the Millennium, 2001-3000:

The gesture didn’t work and Curry missed the free throw, but it mattered not one iota on a night when the anxiety and tension surrounding the Knicks evaporated when it quickly became apparent the Pistons were playing as lifelessly as attendees at a corpse convention.

Really? Corpse convention? And “lifelessly” is a clunky word. Please don’t use it. Personally, I would’ve gone with “The Pistons were as limp as James Bond’s dick at a NAAFA convention.” But that’s only one more reason why I could never be a sportswriter.