Less than 10 months until we wake up from our collective eight-year nightmare!

1) Have an extramarital affair with chief of staff.

2) Deny, deny, deny - even under oath. Oh, and fire people who might expose you.

3) Once irrefutable evidence of affair is discovered, become conspicuously quiet.

4) Wait 2-3 weeks.

5) Offer public apology… in a church.

6) Accept resignation of chief of staff.

7) Show up to city’s biggest annual event dressed like the P.I.M.P. that you A.R.E. (See above).

8) As calls for your resignation become louder, turn up the crazy: Say you’re on a mission from God!

9) If calls for resignation do not subside, blame the media! Call detractors racist.

10) Repeat ad infinitum.