I hear Frankie Muniz is looking for a stand-in.

“[Inge] batted .236 with 14 homers and 71 RBIs last year while Cabrera hit .320 with 34 homers and 119 RBIs with the Marlins.”

Even using crappy metrics, it’s strikingly clear who is better at baseball.

And then: “‘Brandon Inge, no offense to anyone on this team, is the best athlete on the team,’ the manager said.”

*sigh*

I’ll go with E) None of the above.

What a waste of a season. But the Lions are 2-0, and Michigan has a one-game winning streak! Yay?

Also, from Webmaster Gordo: The Canadian dollar hit parity with the U.S. dollar today. Way to go, us.

From ESPN.com:

“I’m tired of seeing that [expletive], day in and day out. And I don’t want to spend a miserable September seeing the same [expletive]. If I have to see the same [expletive], I told [team GM Kenny Williams], ‘Bring somebody up. [Expletive] it.’ If it’s my fault, I should be moving out of here then. If it’s my fault, [expletive] fire my ass and I’ll be fine. I have the job to do, and I get paid a lot of [expletive] money to make this club work, but it’s not easy to work with people like that. It’s not easy.”

People who understand baseball saw this coming before the season even started. Ozzie does not understand baseball, that’s for sure, and he makes bad decisions, but mostly they’re struggling because the players are old and bad at baseball.

…you give up 30 runs in one game. The Kurkjian video is pretty entertaining, even though it looks like he creams his shorts about a minute in.

Bonds. Can we stop talking about him now? Probably time for him to retire and Bud Selig to be fired. Too bad Paul Giamatti’s dad wasn’t in charge of baseball for very long.

Our hearts go out to this unfortunately named baseball prospect. Even though the jokes have already written themselves, we will refrain from posting them here. As one of the classiest blogs in history, we are above that.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to find someone to make fun of on MySpace.

Baseball fans are pretty stupid. Voting for all-stars is about as scientific as voting for prom queen.*

* This joke could be extrapolated in a number of hilarious ways, but I’m too tired. Have at it.

PS- Uh that one is too easy, Jho. -s

A crying kid.

A clever vid.*

Of course they did.

Flipped his lid.

Another bid?

It wasn’t Sid!

Let’s get rid.

Try the squid.

* via golden fid

No-hitter! The last Tigers no-hitter was in 1984, two days before I turned two. We all know how that season ended…