If the Kwame case hasn’t been enough to pique your interest in the sordid affairs of Detroit’s political royalty, we bring you another that’s just at juicy. It seems a certain U.S. Senator’s husband has a taste for bargain-priced prostitutes!

Tom Athans wasn’t all about the $4500/night sessions in swank D.C. hotels like Eliot Spitzer. No, he was more into $150 15-minute quickies in the women’s room at the Residence Inn.

And just when you think he’s about to face some serious charges, we get to my favorite part of the story: “Athans was not charged with soliciting prostitution, since he agreed to testify against the woman…”

Today’s lesson: If you get caught soliciting a prostitute, sell her out A.S.A.P.!

(Thanks to Jina for the link.)

Less than 10 months until we wake up from our collective eight-year nightmare!

1) Have an extramarital affair with chief of staff.

2) Deny, deny, deny - even under oath. Oh, and fire people who might expose you.

3) Once irrefutable evidence of affair is discovered, become conspicuously quiet.

4) Wait 2-3 weeks.

5) Offer public apology… in a church.

6) Accept resignation of chief of staff.

7) Show up to city’s biggest annual event dressed like the P.I.M.P. that you A.R.E. (See above).

8) As calls for your resignation become louder, turn up the crazy: Say you’re on a mission from God!

9) If calls for resignation do not subside, blame the media! Call detractors racist.

10) Repeat ad infinitum.

Keep on clicking.

Thanks to Bizarro J-Ho for the link.

Roy Scheider died yesterday. The 75-year-old “French Connection” star was found mysteriously gobbled to bits outside a Hillary Clinton fundraiser.

Two and a half* more to go.

*Unofficial BC testing reveals having Hillary as President would be like being grazed by a bullet. Not cool, but you’ll live and shit.

Texas, we need to talk…

Suddenly I have a craving for lottery tickets.

Charity.

If you’re like us, you often think “yeah I’d be helping others, but what’s in it for me?”

One of BC’s favorite magazines, GOOD, is currently offering a year’s subscription in exchange for you making a donation to one of 12 worthwhile causes. Six issues for $20. We’re funding micro loans and pretending like we know what that is. Be selfish, feel smart and help folks all at once, you wonderful bastards.

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