Today learn how to beatbox …

Here.

By the way we all set up emails this week. Give your favorite Barber a shout and bask in the glory of our recent brand alignment efforts.

J-ho - j-ho@barber-college.org

A. - a@barber-college.org

Scott - scott@barber-college.org

Dire nights here on the North Side of Chicago. Too much exasperation at work and too many untouched dust-gathering side projects on my plate to pay honest attention to you, our many thousands of BC readers.

It’s sticky as a mofo besides. Literally clogging up my Mac’s keyboard with humidity. I guess I’ll blame that for my limited posting of late. Thanks to TV’s wonder twins for picking up the slack while I slack.

While the Sandman won’t come this evening, let me say a few simple mean-spirited things about Lollapoolza, which me and the Misses did venture downtown to catch this past weekend.

A. In the middle of the Hold Steady fantastic, spirit-lifting set, I came to a crushing conclusion that I would never like them as much as I did right then. My fandom peaking with each consecutive fist pump, I wondered if I ever will like any band that much ever again.

B. Lots of professional and semi-professional rock pencils racing around all weekend. Made me wonder if I was ever cut out to be their competition back in college. I got detoured by a sluggish economy, sure, and a drug-crazed editor or two, but was I really ever up to it anyways? Eh. I coveted their fancier wristbands, studied seriousness and general energy all weekend.

C. After conferring with lots of reports and eye-witness accounts, Modest Mouse had the worst crowd I have ever seen. The Mice were good, even if their setlist didn’t bother stretch into the ’90s (what the fuck? Johnny Marr won’t learn “Doin’ the Cockroach”?) Anyways drugged up high school kids who won’t shut up, stop noodle dancing or generally pissing me off. Chicago’s suburb’s a breeding ground apparently for effing tards of the worst degree.

D. Pearl Jam = dictionary definition of “meh.” A. you have 48 hours to explain these jokers once and for all.

It was a nice, fairly well run festival though, with just as many heartwarming moments (thanks welsh kid from Los Campesinos, who was ecstatic just to be there and see people wearing Pavement shirts) . Look for a more complete write-up at record-reviews sometimes this week.

Here’s some random crap I found while browsing CNN.com, still my favorite news site for no other reasons than the clean layout and Ted Turner’s politics:

That’s one way to handle it.

History has taught us that it takes at least 10 goofy bastards to stage a successful coup.

Crazy white man at Roger Williams uses the N-word and explains thus: “I apologized for that. What else can I do? Kill myself?” Is that an offer? At least he’s being magnanimous about the whole thing…

All this world needs is more apologies. I hate unnecessary apologies. I make people apologize for them.

Speaking as a moral relativist, you’re boring the fuck out of me. Obama did coke and pot back in the day, and he acts like it wasn’t a big deal, because it wasn’t a big deal. That says more about his morals than any of Edwards’s bland bullshit.

Best places to live? Or do you mean best places to avoid being near poor people? The list should go like so: 1) New York City 2) Portland, Oregon 3) Other big cities 4) Medium cities 5) Crappy suburbs 6) Rural communities 7) Money’s list… inverted.

When all is said and done, this guy will end up with the best nickname ever. My first thought was Toothface, but that sounds too much like a Batman villain.

I smell the end of the GOP.

I always thought he choked on his own ego… or his own dick.

Faith restored.

j-ho: wow, linkin park are the worst
Scott: least interesting band ever
j-ho: they should have told them the wrong city
Scott: send them to the south pole and hope they don’t make it back
j-ho: yeah… who actually has to perform in Antarctica?
Scott: band of scientists
Scott: remember how al gore’s wife tried to kill rock n roll? maybe she is just gathering rock stars together so she can destroy them all at once
j-ho: you might be on to something
Scott: woke up with no power this morning
Scott: i thought it might be the big one ala the fire sale in “live free or die hard”
j-ho: why are the chili peppers wearing so many clothes?
j-ho: flea has pants on
Scott: he’s very old
j-ho: flea never wears pants
j-ho: and why does kiedis have those wrist guards on? the kind that bowlers wear.
Scott: hiding track marks
j-ho: sounds about right
j-ho: david holmes and karen duffy are hosting… woooowwwww
j-ho: they scraped the bottom of the former-VJ barrel for those two
Scott: It’s called “recycling.” dave holmes actually lost that be a vj contest to the spaz
j-ho: i wonder how jesse camp died
Scott: his scarf got caught the propeller of a small plain
j-ho: that sounds about right
Scott: “In late 2006, he was reportedly working at a Los Angeles-area pet supply store.”
Scott: wikipedia
j-ho: that’s noble
j-ho: pets gotta eat
j-ho: we should start a band with jesse
Scott: nah
Scott: pets gotta eat
j-ho: this rihanna song is one of those that when you hear it the first time, you’re like, “hey, as far as silly pop songs go, this one isn’t terrible. maybe this summer won’t be as awful as the rest.”
j-ho: then you hear it a couple more times and you realize it’s gonna be a crappy summer

A crying kid.

A clever vid.*

Of course they did.

Flipped his lid.

Another bid?

It wasn’t Sid!

Let’s get rid.

Try the squid.

* via golden fid

Some of your favorite artists ragging on some of your other favorite artists.